Currently Watching Family Guy Presents Stewie Griffin - The Untold Story see related

   Well, it seems as if I've neglected poor xanga recently...

   Halloween was a delightful one. Three parties, three nights in a row... Jello shots, drunken Mortal Kombat, dumpster diving... Good fun. I was sucked into an angry orgy on the car port on night three and wound up making out with two women I didn't know...  Very uncharacteristic, to be sure. I've been very bagtacular these last few drunken times, I don't know what's up with that...

   Ian stopped by recently, and was very sweet and apologetic. That was rather strange, but delightful. I think we have plans to drink Colt 45 in a dumpster sometime soon...

   We've recently acquired excessively large amounts of cups and these giant animatronic dancing puppets. That's always fun.

   We ran into Bo, the homeless dude we took to the beach, at the corner store recently. We brought him home with us and told him to stop by anytime, and he came over the other day with another hobo named Captain Russ!  That was delightful... They both stayed for a while and danced, sang, and did Marlon Brando impressions for us. Captain Russ eventually mysteriously disappeared, and Bo got all paranoid and wandered off to the bus stop, where he'll be leaving us forever to go live with his sister in far off lands.  I'm very sad... Bo was the coolest homeless man ever. He had so much life and character and so many obscure interests and talents... I would have loved to hang out with him when he was sober. Or when I was sober...

 We finally got a new bed yesterday... Salvation Army, twenty dollas, baby! After several, several hours of cleaning, rearranging, and mopping, we now have this giant bed that reaches all the way across the room, covered in black sheets and lots of pillows, and these sheer black drapes covering all the walls. We're getting another bed for Philip to line the other wall in a giant 'L' shape, so the entire room will be one gigantic, cushy bed! It's going to be fabulous when it's all done...

   Odios, peeps!

Currently Watching Dancing Pirate By Charles Collins see related

   Yes, for the better part of 5 hours last night, Emily and I attempted to strip and sodomize poor Nathan, until we were all too bruised, battered, and bloody to continue any further. Trash cans were knocked upside down, alcohol spilt over everyone and everything, cat shit was rolled in, clothes strewn throughout the living room, jewelry destroyed, lips busted open, over half the objects in the house knocked over, Emilys stripped completely naked, and yes, O rings penetrated...

   The nights festivities were concluded with a seven in the morning drive to get bagels with sun dried tomato cream cheese.

Currently Watching Roll Bounce By Bow Wow, Meagan Good, Nick Cannon see related

   Another interesting night last night... We had all of these beautiful plans, which once again got cancelled, so as a consolation, one of Nathan's work buddies, Jon Michael, invited Nathan, Emily, Josh, and I over to his house to make up for our continual disappointment. Fun times ensued till three in the morning when we went home to find a very angry Phillip marching around the yard, and this homeless man he brought home talking to himself in this puddle of oil under the car port. A very delightful find, to be sure, we immediately set to work on our homeless protocols. We spent hours dancing, stripping, screaming, clanging pots, and shoving genitals and asses in this man's face, with no response or comment except for the occasional "...Hey now..." from this very very wasted man. The closest thing we got to a positive response was when we formed a line of sugar on a plate and told him it was cocaine, but then he just got really pissed when we took it away from him when he tried to snort it...

   We inadvertantly triggered some Vietnam War relapses when Phillip started banging on the windows, so we tried to be extra sweet and make up for it and offer him food and talk to him for a while, to which he would only respond with rolled eyes, cursing, unintelligible gibberish, and sarcastic comments, so I regretfully got a bit too antagonistic to him, and Josh and I spent the better part of several hours chastising him and calling him a proverbial "sour puss." He didn't really seem to mind too terribly or really comprehend what was going on, but eh.... Super mean Tanya is never fun...

   We eventually kicked him out, and found him standing on the neighbor's porch all alone screaming and cursing at some ex-girlfriend of his or something who wasn't there about a half an hour later. Creepy, creepy ass guy...

   That's all the excitement of recent days, I believe... Oh! Phillip is living with us now! Not too sure what I think about that as of yet, but the house is sure to be more interesting...

    ***ATTENTION***

   There will be a party in honor of Sir Professor Brain's fourth birthday on Friday, October 21st! Be there, or be square, people!

Currently Watching Mr. & Mrs. Smith (Widescreen Edition) By Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, Adam Brody see related

   There are interesting times afoot...

   A midnight beer run the other day led to an altercation with a homeless man sitting outside the Cannon station. Apparently, he had been on the beach when some dude picked him up and asked him if he had any crack. Homeless dude (Bo) said no, but he could get some, so they drove down to good 'ol Martin Luther King Blvd, but at some point on this trip the guy decided Bo was attempting to rip him off, which he probably was, so he just dumped him there and left. With nothing else to do and a penchant for harassing the homeless, we gave him a ride to the beach, and he gave us three dollars and lots of alcohol. Good, good fun ensued.

    The dude was an absolute riot, so instead of returning him to his hotel room, we went to the ocean and sat and drank with him.  He tried instructing us on how to have sex, and told us that if we don't have condoms, Reynolds Wrap will suffice, and told us all about how much women love dick... By the end of the night, with lots of encouragement and some hot Nathan ass and Tanya and Emily boobie action, we had him completely naked and masturbating in front of us.  The security guard noticed our shenanigans, unfortunately, and we were promptly kicked off the beach, at which point we dropped our new buddy off with our phone number a few blocks down the road and returned home...

   The next night, we were all very peppy for some reason, so we went to CiCi's dressed as a pizza slice and dinosaur, turned the Biscuit Beast Mobile into a rave, and then to the gay bar where we had some fun karaoke, and where poor Emily was harassed by the only straight guy in the entire bar. As always, we corrupt every person we meet, and by the end of the night, we had this sophisticated 40-year-old man singing 'Candle in the Wind' while wearing the pizza costume, Willy Wonka goggles, and fuzzy raver hat. It was delightful.

   We also ran into a very good long-lost friend while there. We didn't get to spend much time with her, but hopefully she'll call soon or come over some time!... *hint hint*